Make Moves Monday with Devon Bandison

Today we have a special guest for you guys. He's a success coach, an Author and most important he's a Father. If you're a father and looking for some guidance in Fatherhood say no more. Meet Devon Bandison the Author of the new book "Fatherhood is Leadership" Your playbook for success, Self-Leadership and a Richer Life. We took the time  to ask Mr. Bandison a few quesions about his role on being a present Dad.

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*How Many kids do you Have? 

 DB~Three kids ages 19, 15, 7

 *Where are you from? 

DB~New York born and raised

* Take me back to the time when you heard you were going to be a Dad for the First Time

DB~ I was 23 years old and a senior in college. I had made the "promise" a lot of fathers made as a result of having a father who wasn't as present as he could be (my father had been addicted to drugs in my teens). The promise was "when I become a dad I'll be a better more present father than my Dad was. But when our daughter was born, I had no clue what I was doing. Men especially young fathers often feel they need to "front" and act like they know what there doing and suffer in silence. They think that asking for help is weak. I was one of them and didnt learn until later on that asking for help and admitting you are scared about this responsibility is the most courageous thing you could do. (chapter 9 in the book)

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*What was your inspiration to write a book ?

 DB~ I wanted to take my experience coaching fathers around the world and from the early years developing programs for 1st time fathers in the south bronx and create a space for men to open up and become the best version of themselves. Fatherhood is Leadership is a movement and I believe the next evolution for the modern day father. Transforming our lives from the inside out with this practical playbook that provides insights for men to increase their influence, improve their intimacy and maximize they’re impact on their own lives, the lives of their children, families while creating a living legacy in the world. When I sat down to write this book I realized we didn’t need another “how-to” parenting book. I wanted instead to open a dialogue in which men could see not only that, that they are not alone, but that we have everything inside ourselves to create the love, relationships, success and financial freedom we may have only had fleeting glimpses of. If we open ourselves to it, fatherhood can be the gateway to freedom.We are ushering in the new evolution of modern day fatherhood. After years dedicated to working in the trenches—developing fatherhood programs, navigating through and learning from my own challenges, and now living a life beyond anything I could have imagined—I understand the meaning of the saying, “to whom much is given, much is required.” We have a responsibility to our children, and part of meeting that responsibility means seeing ourselves through a new lens and celebrating the amazing gifts that fathers bring to the world.  

*.How did you come up with the title for the book? 

DB~ Like leadership, fatherhood isn’t about your title, it's about influence. Real leadership (and Fatherhood) is about how one life can influence another by your actions. The days of do as I say not as I do is played out. Because our children, our community and the world is watching OUR ACTIONS. This book empowers men to live a life where there audio (words) match their video (actions). The great  leaders of today understand that to lead is to lead by example and that actions speak louder than words. Leadership is not about titles, it’s about one life influencing another. The same is true for modern day fatherhood. Fatherhood isn't about your title, it’s about how your actions and example influences another life. Our leadership as fathers influence and profoundly impact our children, our spouse, our family, our community and ultimately the world. We are up to something big in this book, a movement that is out to shift the old school authoritarian “do as I say not as I do” paradigm into a new one. A new intentional, heart centered, service focused and conscious form of self-leadership that will transform your life.

*Talk to us about your experience with Ted Talks..what was it like being on stage and having a voice to reach out to so many people. What was going through your mind. DB~ Being on the TED stage was an honor. Couldn’t tell you exactly what was going through my mind as thousands of people looked on but I remember saying let this be about the mission of changing lives and not about me.

*Talk to us about your experience with Ted Talks..what was it like being on stage and having a voice to reach out to so many people. What was going through your mind.

DB~ Being on the TED stage was an honor. Couldn’t tell you exactly what was going through my mind as thousands of people looked on but I remember saying let this be about the mission of changing lives and not about me.

* *What's the biggest piece of advice you would give to other fathers out there?  DB-Do this for me: Picture a teacup, filled to the brim, sitting on a saucer. The tea inside the cup represents all we have to offer to our children, family and the world. As fathers, providers, employees, business owners, partners, we are often serving people with our time, energy and money directly from our cup. Without a commitment to self-care, our cup will eventually run dry. At that point we get overwhelmed, overstretched and burned out. Self-care is the antidote to the empty cup. Self-care is how we can constantly fill our cups to the point where we create an overflow onto the saucer. By constantly creating the overflow, we can shift into serving people from the saucer, thus allowing our cups to stay full. The cup never gets empty because people receive the overflow created by our attention to ourselves. We never get empty. Instead we have more energy, more space, more time—and ultimately a more fulfilling life.Once you’re able to serve from the saucer you’ll realize it’s not even about you. That’s right: fatherhood isn’t about you. Helping people isn’t about you. Making a difference isn’t about you. Your legacy, impact and influence on the world will not be about what you acquired. It will be about how you contributed. Fill your cup, create an overflow and discover how abundant life can be when you serve from a full cup. This is your life. Create a living legacy.The time, energy and love you want to give others flows freely when you first give it to yourself.  “No such thing as spare time, No such thing as free time, No such thing as down time, All you got is life time, Go!”

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*What's the biggest piece of advice you would give to other fathers out there? 

DB-Do this for me: Picture a teacup, filled to the brim, sitting on a saucer. The tea inside the cup represents all we have to offer to our children, family and the world. As fathers, providers, employees, business owners, partners, we are often serving people with our time, energy and money directly from our cup. Without a commitment to self-care, our cup will eventually run dry. At that point we get overwhelmed, overstretched and burned out. Self-care is the antidote to the empty cup. Self-care is how we can constantly fill our cups to the point where we create an overflow onto the saucer. By constantly creating the overflow, we can shift into serving people from the saucer, thus allowing our cups to stay full. The cup never gets empty because people receive the overflow created by our attention to ourselves. We never get empty. Instead we have more energy, more space, more time—and ultimately a more fulfilling life.Once you’re able to serve from the saucer you’ll realize it’s not even about you. That’s right: fatherhood isn’t about you. Helping people isn’t about you. Making a difference isn’t about you. Your legacy, impact and influence on the world will not be about what you acquired. It will be about how you contributed. Fill your cup, create an overflow and discover how abundant life can be when you serve from a full cup. This is your life. Create a living legacy.The time, energy and love you want to give others flows freely when you first give it to yourself. 

“No such thing as spare time,
No such thing as free time,
No such thing as down time,
All you got is life time,
Go!”

*What’s your favorite part of being a Dad?  DB~ Just hanging, laughing and joking with my children and realizing that they are by far my greatest teachers in life. *Whats your favorite thing to do with your kid/kids? DB~ Pizza Night my 7 year old, talking life on the stoop with my 19 year old daughter and watching basketball with my 15 year old son.

*What’s your favorite part of being a Dad

DB~ Just hanging, laughing and joking with my children and realizing that they are by far my greatest teachers in life.

*Whats your favorite thing to do with your kid/kids?

DB~ Pizza Night my 7 year old, talking life on the stoop with my 19 year old daughter and watching basketball with my 15 year old son.

*Ok, Every Swaggerdad has their favorite sunglasses, what's yours? and why? DB~ Any sunglasses I’m able to hold on to for more than a month without losing them. :)

*Ok, Every Swaggerdad has their favorite sunglasses, what's yours? and why?

DB~ Any sunglasses I’m able to hold on to for more than a month without losing them. :)

We like to Thank our first guest Devon Bandison to the Swaggerdad Spotlight. Please pick up his new book. I did and so far so good! 

We like to Thank our first guest Devon Bandison to the Swaggerdad Spotlight.

Please pick up his new book. I did and so far so good! 

By Danny Reyes

Photos By Devon Bandison